Ok, I am done. Let's try this again. Fact, I haven't lost weight in forever! Bright side? I haven't gained anything back. Apparently that's a really big (no pun intended!) accomplishment. I have been unsuccessfully plodding along for the last few months, and at my last appointment Dr. B decided to put me on metformin (or something like that). He believes that I am insulin resistant (NO, I do NOT have diabetes). At the time (roughly 6 weeks ago), I was exercising (30 mins a day on the treadmill, 5 times a week) and eating reasonably well. Since then, life has happened to me. I have been stressed and well, all sorts of fun things, and out went the exercise, and in came the chocolate. So here I sit with a total weight loss of 60 lbs. How depressing. And what does he say to me? At least you haven't gained any back? You have just been hovering at this weight this WHOLE time??? Fine. Small victories. But this one sucks. And look, I am failing at weightloss WITH a surgery. Siiiiiiigghhhhhh! I know, I am not suppose to look at it that way, but I can't help it.
Right, pity party over. Mostly. Honestly, I can't make any promises. I might slip right back into that party... but for now, here is the revised plan. Dr. B made me commit to two things. Food diary: write down everything that you put in your mouth (eeewww gross Ginger! Stop it!) and commit to getting back on the treadmill. Dr. B, had me commit to starting with 20 mins four times this week and increasing back up to 30 mins 5 times a week.
Day one? I have written everything down for the day (except the two cheetos I just ate - and god knows I want to consume the rest of the bag, but won't) and just finished my 20 mins on the treadmill.
That's right treadmill! Moriah vs. the Treadmill is baaaaaack! and I refuse to lose this time.
Side bar of motivation: I went to Sudbury for the weekend for a family function. I saw my fabulous cousins, aunts and uncles. Some of whom I hadn't seen in forever. It was wonderful. So we are at my cousin's house for the evening (she graciously opened her home to the whole family) and I was chatting with her sister. I asked my cousin why her sister did not eat cheese and she says to me: "Do you see that ass?" and I answer: "Yes." (might I just point out that this woman has a spectacular body, but she works incredibly hard to maintain it). To which she replies: "That's why". She also follows that up with something that really struck me. She said: "It's all about discipline". Which, I know. I mean duh, of course it's all about discipline, but it really struck me right then and there. Nobody gets a body like that without intense work. So if I want anything even remotely close to that, heck just anything better than what I have, I will have to work my ... ass off.
Anyways, once again I am psyching myself up. I will do this. I will continue to be successful. OMG I have officially lost it. I am doing positive affirmations in a fucking blog! God I need to lose weight ASAP!!! I am doing POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS in a BLOG!!!
Give me strength. And while we are at it, willpower. Ok, that's all for now...
Wow, I am such a liar! I thought I would take a picture of me today. Let's see what I can do. What changes I bring about over the next little while.
