So nothing new. I haven't blogged in a while, but nothing has changed. I haven't lost weight. Since last we spoke, I tried a new medication for my insulin resistance. It made me sick (upset stomach, etc) but did not cause weight loss as promised. I stuck it out for over two month, with no results. Oh well.
I have been watching my friend Dawn go to the Gym 3-4 per week and work out with a personal trainer. I can't tell you how amazing she looks. Over the last year or so, she has completely transformed herself. She has worked her ass off, literally! It's a whole lot of work, and I know that. So why don't I lose weight? Oh, I have a ton of excuses. I work full-time, I am the mother of two young children, I work almost full-time doing photography, I am taking a photography course AND I attempt to have a life while trying to be a professional, a mother, a wife, a friend, a student, start my own business, and everything else. Even with all that, I still manage 30 mins on the treadmill 3 to 4 times a week.
But let's be honest, despite all that, the fact of the matter remains that I have officially had this band long enough to have found the loop holes.
Victory/Problem # 1: I have learned how to eat with the lapband. What does that mean? I can eat starch again. Ok, only certain times of the month, and it has to be the last thing I eat AND I have to eat it super slowly, but I can. 1 year ago, I couldn't have. This is also true for a lot of foods that had completely dropped off the radar for a while. Now, they are back. I don't feel the food is as healthy as it was.
Problem # 2: I don't feel like it. I don't want to put in all the work I was putting in 1.5 years ago. I'm tired of eating what I eat and I can't find new food. I find tons of things to eat in the restaurant, but these are not things I am going to make for dinner when I get home at 5-5:15 in the evening and still have to try to feed my kids, do dishes/lunches/homework/baths/photography/appointments etc... So now what?
Victory/Problem #3: easiest, most preferred food? Cooked vegetables. But I like them seasoned, in a recipe. Not just "throw some rapini in a pot of boiling water et voila!". And damn if I can find some good recipes. Sigh.
Problem #4 (and lets be honest, the BIGGEST problem here): I have learned to cheat the system. What does that mean? If I am hungry and don't have time for a 40 minute lunch, or need to nibble on something to make it to the next meal? I pick an easy food. What's an easy food? Chocolate, ice-cream, chocolate, a coke for the quick sugar high. Bad, bad, bad. I am eating WAY too much chocolate. I even know it. Do I stop? No.
How am I ever going to be successful? I want this, but I apparently can 't even be bothered to make the effort. AHHHHH!!! Ok. I don't really know what else to tell you. I think I need a MD appointment. And possibly another night out with Dawn.
