Lapband easter...

I am stunned. Shocked! Flabbergasted! I think I just figured out that it isn't all about me?

I should start with a happy Easter everyone. I hope you had a nice long weekend (I know, I know, it's not finished yet). This was a pretty challenging weekend for me.  I went to my mom's for Easter dinner on Saturday, and dinner at my in-laws this evening. So thanks to me, no one in either family got a traditional easter dinner; as I do not consume, turkey, pig, beef or chicken (if we are listing meats I don't eat - I as of yet have tried duck or lamb). I eat fish. Well, seafood really. On Good Friday I went out to dinner for my girlfriend's 35th b-day and had trout (which was yummy but gross thanks to all the fish bones I had to remove) like a good catholic. If only I were catholic this would actually matter. 


On Saturday I headed over to my mom's house for a spread that she worked really hard to come up with. I had several conversations with her in which I offered to just bring myself some fish and she could make whatever she wanted. But mommies being who they are, just have to accommodate their children - take care of them. Like I said, I felt pretty bad that everyone got cheated out of their Easter dinner for food that my mom thought I could eat. She worked hard on coming up with a menu, consulted with the other members of my family. Probably had to buy special ingredients that she doesn't normally have on hand. Needless to say, she put a lot of effort into this meal. She made a rice-less Jambalaya (I can't eat rice), some carrot dish that everyone raved about(if there is one vegetable I can' eat, it's carrots - even if they are shredded and cooked), a chicken curry-esq dish (did I mention I can't eat chicken?), a vegetable couscous (YES!!! This I can enjoy), plus the bacon wrapped scallops that we brought (part offering of help towards the meal, part insurance plan). Of that fare, I was only able to eat the Jambalaya, the couscous and the scallops and managed to down 2.5 scallops, 1-2 bite of couscous and 1 shrimp from the Jambalaya before the whole meal came to a screeching halt (for me) thanks to my own stupidity. I had to eat my mom's homemade bread. Mike, you weren't there, but I know you know why I did it. I blocked, vomited a bit and had ice cream.  Yeah for me.  Did I mention that I feel bad that my mom went to all this trouble and worked real hard at putting a meal together just to accommodate me and my needs and in the end I couldn't eat half of what she made, AND I still blocked AND no one got their traditional Easter meal. Sigh. But throughout this whole experience, I was at my mom's house. It's a comfortable and safe environment for me and I didn't feel too awkward with the whole thing because it was such a minor block that it was settled immediately and I could go back to the table and eat a little more (ice cream). I think the worst part about blocking is my perception of what everyone else is thinking. 


Enter dinner number two. The in-laws. So my mother in law mentioned on Tuesday when we saw them that they were making chicken, "You eat chicken right?" she asked. Since I had just blogged about how I wanted to re-introduce it into my diet I said yes. I love my in-laws. They are really generous and they would go above and beyond for me (and my family) but their eating habits don't exactly align with mine. They are more an old school, meat and potatoes kind of peeps. And so that is the second reason why I didn't say I couldn't eat chicken. But during the week I realized I was too afraid to end up blocking and have an unpleasant evening due to chicken ingestion (or lack there of),  so I decided to bring fish. I show up there this evening with my fish, and Guy gives it to his mom making some joke about how it's a gift, and his mom wants to freeze it immediately. I say that it is my supper and that I am just too nervous to eat chicken. She looks slightly dismayed but soldiers on saying no problem! Then my father-in-law goes on about how they should have made roast beef. I clarify that I haven't been able to eat beef since I had the surgery, so I would not have eaten the meal regardless (IRREGARDLESS!). He then says once again that they could have been eating roast beef, and I now feel like the biggest heel ever! My mother in-law then verifies that I can eat french fries right? I say yes, of course. I mean when I was out on Friday night for dinner I had these amazing roasted mini red potatoes that more or less tasted french fry-esq. So yeah, I can eat fries. I clearly don't learn my lesson the first time round. Remember a few weeks back when I thought I would have french fries and how amazing it would be and in the end I blocked, puked and ended up with nothing in my stomach? Just repeat that scenario, only at my in-laws. During Easter dinner. After I told then I was eating fish so I wouldn't block and that I could eat french fries. I think I managed 5 bites. Blocked and spent the rest of the meal in the bathroom. Not even sure if they could hear me puking or not. Then my mother-in-law asks me if I will have dessert. Uhhhh nope. But once again she looks disheartened, so I ask if she has ice cream. She rallies and is happy once again. What a colossal mistake on my behalf. I have not finished, I am still blocked. The ice cream, well it doesn't make it all better. I abruptly tell Guy we have to go. I wrangle my two overtired, unimpressed children and off we go. I am uncomfortable, unwell even and I just want to get home. The car ride back was less than stellar. We had to pull over so I could spit out all the saliva that was pooling at an alarming rate in my mouth. And off we went again. I barely made it home. We pull up to the house and some obnoxious family of four out for their familial bonding walk just happens to be coming up to our house. They walked at the pace of a snail and I think even paused to smile at us and allow to bask in the glory that is their offspring (riding their bikes on our lawn), before sauntering on. I almost puked on my winshield thanks to them. Jumped out of the car and bolted for the house, leaving Guy to deal with our kids. 

I worry that my in-laws, having never really experienced any of this (an not having a computer, have never read my blog) are now going to be convinced that I am bulimic.  I mean, I was pretty convincing of that this evening.

Well there you have it. Easter, lapband stylez! I don't know. I mean like I said up top, I am realizing how much my decisions are affecting those around me. Even though this is about me, it's not just about me. Wow. That is mind blowing. I mean I have labored under the false impression that EVERYTHING is about me. WTF! It's just weird. And uncomfortable. I have to learn how to do family functions I guess. But I keep moving forward. I keep losing weight. I will wear some mighty fine clothes! Wait for it, someday this will be a blog about my shopping.  


Hope your Easter was a bit smoother. Oh CRAP! I am suppose to have brunch with my dad tomorrow. Is the problem Easter? Will I survive another meal? Aaaahhhhhhhhh!