So I have been thinking about postings; not sure how frequently I should be posting. I mean maybe I should only be posting when I have something new to say, or should I be actually documenting all my "ups and downs". I was thinking the other day that despite the fact that I really didn't think this would be an emotional experience, it turns out is a friggin' emotional roller-coaster. If I were to post every experience this is giving me, I think it would go something like...
Day 1:
Blah, blah, blah normal day; nothing new.
Day 2:
This is so awesome, I love this experience. I am so excited and motivated!
Day 3:
WHY!?!? This isn't working! I suck. I can't do this!!
Then it would be a matter of mixing the three in random combinations. That would more or less describe this experience. I really do go from struggling to best day ever super motivated.
Today for example. Not really sure what happened. I had my coffee this am, followed by yogurt with honey roasted oats and cranberries and then lunch. I had 1/2 cup of lasagna for lunch and wasn't really feeling it, so I went and bought a tiny green salad to eat with it. I slowly ate my salad; it felt tight going down, but I thought nothing of it. Next thing I know, I am blocked followed shortly by pain and vomiting. Ever vomit in a public toilet (while NOT drunk)? It's repulsive (just for the record). Anyways, I then had nothing to eat (can't really get anything down post-vomiting due to swelling - i guess) so I grabbed a latte (mocha) and went back to work. Had a wicked headache by 3:30 and just wanted to be in bed. Canceled dinner with the fam (kids and Guy had to scramble for their own dinner) and had a smoothie for dinner. This is the second time in 5 days that this happens. With all I have been threw, I had never been sick at work. Now twice in 5 days. MF!
I am beginning to wonder if it is a result of stress (which there is no lack of right now). I can't figure out otherwise, why I am blocking.
What I can say, is right now I feel tired with all the effort. I feel like I have the blandest diet ever. I am happy with the results, but the struggle is... well, tiring.
Later, gator.
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