Oh Hungry?

First off, thanks to everyone for all the support I am getting. You guys are way to kind! I love that people are asking questions and getting me to think and talk more! Awesome!

Now this is just a short blurb. Not really going in depth on anything here. I was just thinking how weird this all is. I guess it must be how the lap band works. I am pretty darn sure that my portions have reduced, although I think I spend a lot of time saying it out loud to convince myself of it. But at the same time, I feel like I can still eat a fair portion. For example, yesterday I went to this cafe-esque place near work for my lunch and have been going there for a few years. They are awesome because they make these ginormous salads, and they are jam-packed with "toppings". They weigh like... 1lb per salad, they're huge! I loved going there 'cause I could look like a healthy eater with my salad but still leave the table feeling satiated. Needless to say, I would eat the whole damn container and would probably eat a little something else after. Now I go and usually don't make it passed the 1/2 way, maybe 2/3 mark, then I am full. So I know that portions have changed, but I still want to eat more. I am definitely full, but still wanting to put more food into my mouth.

I think that I am missing that really full feeling. I don't mean post christmas dinner uncomfortable full, just the whole "don't want another bite" full. Now with this new (and admittedly healthier) slow paced/chew, chew, chew eating I feel satiated way before I make it through my portion. I know this is good. But remember folks... I love food. Everything about it. I love the texture, the taste, the experience of feeling nice and full. I would probably have to confess to loving the memories foods bring as well. I guess I am just missing that right now.

I spend all my time choosing foods because they are healthy, because it's what I should be eating, because it won't cause problems for me (blocking and puking namely), that there is no more... yummy-ness.

But I guess that in the end, we all have to pay the piper right? I mean if I want the great body and the fabulous clothes, there is a price.

On that note, I am going to go eat a bowl of chocolate frozen yogurt. One of my last little PC pleasures.