On Friday I got up and had my usual am food. Smoothie, grande vanilla latte (non fat, no foam), two pieces of cheese at about 10:30 am. I didn't really eat much more than that because I knew that we were going to Baton Rouge for a farewell lunch (actually, 3 farewell lunches) at 11:30. When I got to Baton Rouge (BR), my friend Tia and I decided to share a lunch. Ever been to BR? The portions are mammoth sized. Now don't get me wrong, I used to be able to go and eat a plate no problem but I am realistic and I know that this IS a restrictive device I am using. Potions have definitely changed. So we chose the BBQ chicken plate. Our sides? Fries and a ceaser salad. I was so proud of myself. I ate that half plate and was the last of 20 people to finish eating. I was amazed that I finished last when everyone around me ate a full plate of food and I only ate a half. AND I wasn't even trying to be the slowest. Yeah me! I was just eating at a pace that would not have me puking. I think we all need a minute here to realize that 3 months ago I would have been the first person finished and would have spent a lot of time waiting on others!!!
That evening I went out for dinner with a friend. At Guy's suggestion we went to a tapas style restaurant. Brilliant really. All food is gauged so that you can share and the experience is such that you eat slowly and small amounts. It's really the perfect place for me because in sharing the food I can get a bigger variety than just ordering my own dish. I love variety. Again, it was a slow easy meal and no puking. Props for me! I rounded off the evening meeting friends at the pub and sharing 2 beers (they are working on me being able to drink beer). I was quite please with Friday. Hey, I didn't puke, I didn't over eat and it was much cheaper over all!
Saturday was fine. Coffee, most of a Tim Horton's breakfast sandwich (on an english muffin). I have no idea what I had for lunch... oh yeah, left overs from my tilapia/ratatouille/kale-potato cakes dinner. Then I went to a friends house to watch movies all day. Back in the day, a girl movie day involved incredible and ridiculous amounts of food indulgence. All chocolate and chips and yummy hors d'oeuvres type foods. Soooo good. Well yesterdays feast involved a hot chocolate, fruit and chocolate dip and a cup of tea. We then headed to my place to watch the last movie and ordered a small pizza. The end. It was iffy for a minute as I ate, but the discomfort passed and I was fine. The main point of the day was that I went out for a walk. All by myself, in the middle of a snow storm without any coercion. It was actually my idea! I was planning on naming this post "Walking with Muse". I had smart and witty things to say. I was walking to Absolution, it took 6 songs to walk my chosen "parcour", which means a total walking time of 21.05 mins or 1.6 km, if you will. Yay. Again, I was really proud - still am I guess. What I took away from yesterday was that I have to turn this anomaly into a frequent recurrence.
For the last two days I have felt good and in control. I felt like I was getting the hang of all this eating/weight loss stuff. Then I got up today. I came downstairs and read for a bit. As Guy and the girls went outside to shovel, I decided to make a fried egg sandwich. I had a piece of cheese as I waited and a gulp of OJ. That was my first mistake. Cold juice closes up the whole passage. I know better. But there I was. The discomfort seemed to pass and I made my breakfast. I sat down and had my first bite of the sandwich, then the second. I may have eaten a third of the half sandwich. Then I knew I was in trouble. I hadn't had my coffee or anything warm like a tea. So I hurried and made myself a cup of tea. To little to late. I tried to drink the tea so that things would loosen up, but it was no use. I then was sick and managed to throw up everything I had downed. You have to understand that it takes a lot of time and pain to accomplish that. Then I sat down and drank my tea. Then a second cup. I tried to eat a couple bites of kraft dinner (part of the girls' lunch), but I could feel it blocking as well. No matter, I wasn't really hungry after the whole vomitting ordeal anyways. Now I sit here typing, finishing a raspberry/banana smoothie just to have something nutritional in my system.
Sigh. Like I said, I thought I had the hang of this. I even toasted the bread for my fried egg sandwich (that makes it easier to consume). While talking to Guy after I realized a few things. I can more or less kiss bread goodbye. I need to clarify how painful and challenging a task that is. I LOVE bread. I mean, I can remember doing groceries and laughing about the 10-12 bread products I was going home with. I have barely eaten bread since this surgery, but I just figured it would come eventually. I don't think that now. I mean, my diet has changed soooo much. Not because I am trying to lose weight (which I am), but because my body can't consume anything else. I wonder if it's like this for everyone that gets this surgery. So what can't my body handle? Items I am definitely going to avoid?
- Red meat (goodbye beef, porc etc)
- Bread (I am still in denial)
I had no idea that the surgery would make me adopt all that healthy eating that "they" tell you you should be eating (wow that is a horrible sentence). I know that this is a good thing, and yet, it doesn't feel that way. I feel like my food options have been incredibly reduced. Guy says that I managed to quit drinking coke, therefor everything else should be a walk in the park. But I don't really feel that I am left with too many options. I NEED options. I don't know what to eat. How to eat. It's not like I can just avoid it till I can figure it out, right?
On the bright side, I am watching the pounds melt off of me. Albeit slowly, they are disappearing. I am down another 3 lbs I think. But I also caution myself, you can't trust the scale!
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